Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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