Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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