Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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