Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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