How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize