I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
