..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
is it fun? or sober?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
