The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
just tell him i said nine months
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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