I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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