This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she peed on how many people?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I think I sprained my soul last night
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
i now understand why vodka
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