ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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