So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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