I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Randomize
