six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
