don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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