Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
