somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize