I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
im holly from the hills drunk
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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