Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
