I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
