I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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