so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
