I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
