rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize