That's intense
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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