You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
