You made me cry and you don't even care
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
last night I used snow as a chaser
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
