This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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