He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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