My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
