8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize