I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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