I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
