i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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