you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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