so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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