I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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