There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
