The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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