shes about as inviting as chlamydia
they need to just BURY HIM!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
