Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
