I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
