Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
