Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
