after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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