Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
