I didn't shave. On purpose
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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