just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Ketchup is God's man juice
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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