party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You're like the curious george of whores
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
