the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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