Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
