have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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