well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
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3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
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Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person