The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize