I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Nicole vs. Life
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can