Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize