On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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