We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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