Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
