He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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