Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm going to jail i love you
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
