Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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