...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
