You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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