How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
