I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
