He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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