She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
