We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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