hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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